The Communications Era

A few weeks ago I attempted to contact a company with questions about their product.  I'm not going to mention which company because 1) it's not really relevant to this rant and 2) you could interchange it with just about any company out there these days and the end result would be the same.  First I had to get through the obligatory phone tree.  I would be absolutely astounded if I called a business these days and a live human being picked up the phone.  After going through 32 possible combinations, none of which met my specific need, I began punching the "zero" button repetitively hoping to connect with an operator.  The recorded lady kept insisting that if I followed their phone tree she would be better able to direct my call.  She just didn't seem to understand that this option just wasn't working for me.  Reluctantly, she eventually gave in and redirected my call to "the first available operator."

It has long been a theory of mine that if companies redirected all of the personnel they have working in telemarketing to the customer service department, customer relations would improve by a hundred fold.  Think about it.  How many of you have seriously decided to change your insurance carrier because someone was kind enough to interrupt you during the one night a week you get to have dinner with your family?  Never mind the fact that you did careful research on all your options and have been a loyal customer with this company for years.  Persistent telemarketer calls and now I've changed my mind.  With dogged determination, though, they keep on calling.  And that flood of customer service reps is still an elusive entity.  I will continue to get 15 phone calls a day for Ernest Rice and I will continue to hold for 45 minutes waiting for the next available representative.  Yes, folks, 45 minutes.  I understand that my call will be answered in the order it was received, but 45 minutes?  How many people are answering the phone, two?

Unfortunately, the above scenario is just another evidence of what I consider to be the ongoing problems with the age we live in.  Now, mind you, I am fully cognizant of the irony of posting this thought process on a blog.  Allow me this moment anyhow as I mention my total astonishment at the fact that we now have more ways than ever to keep in touch with each other, yet no one seems to be building relationships anymore.  Seriously.  Think about this. 

People text, they twitter, they facebook, they leave messages and access a few other modern gizmos that I'm not familiar with while never actually connecting with a live person.  I wish I had a nickel for every time someone has said to me "oh, you missed that moment?  Well, I posted it on facebook!"  Lovely.  What ever happened to picking up a phone and calling?  Or even an email?  Something that says, "I was personally thinking of you and wanted you to be a part of this moment in my life."  Instead I, and the other 357 individuals who are lucky enough to be friends with them on facebook, can all find out simultaneously.  At the same time we discover that Becky just ate a sandwich.  And Trish is no longer talking to Tanya because of that thing that happened at the prom.  It's all public fodder. 

Maybe I should use the 45 minutes I'm on hold for company Z to catch up on everyone's facebook page.  Except I'm too busy using that time to chase children around the house, fold laundry, cook dinner and catch up with all the other minutiae of real life.  Which brings me back to the lack of live people.  Even outside of company Z, it seems that real people are hard to find.  There are individuals of my acquaintance who I have no less than eight ways to contact them.  Not a lie, folks.  Do you think you can ever actually reach them.  Why do we own all these modern gadgets if we're never able to get in touch with one another?  Which is astounding to me that I can never reach people on their phones because it seems like the majority of individuals have them glued to their ears.  Have you ever been to dinner with someone and they spent the entire meal taking phone calls from other people?  Guess my company wasn't stimulating enough?  Let's do this again soon!  And if you do actually connect with someone it's worse than trying to schedule an appointment with the doctor.  "Ooooh, the next few weeks are looking really bad, how about we look at getting together next month?"  Maybe they're trying to catch up on all their facebook posting.

A short while before Christmas I attended a parade with my children.  There was a lady sitting next to me and she made a comment about the parade or my children or some other friendly rejoinder.  I embarked upon a conversation with her.  Only to discover that I was standing next to the one crazy person at the parade.  In between talking to me, this woman was having a conversation with herself.  I briefly thought about backing away, but didn't want to insult her if she was really off her rocker.  I wasn't sure whether to be relieved or annoyed when I finally figured out she was talking on a blue tooth.  (Still say they remind me of those guys in the Cloud City in Empire Strikes Back, but that's just me.)  On the one hand, she wasn't the raving loon I thought she was.  On the other hand, here I thought I was connecting with someone and it turns out that she was talking to her friend Beth several states away.  Maybe I should just give her credit.  At least she was personally connecting.